The no-contact rule, also known as the “no communication” rule, has become more popular than ever. It’s a way to keep your ex out of your life so you don’t have to deal with them anymore. This can be a very powerful strategy for women who want to move on quickly from an abusive relationship.
But does the no-contact rule actually work? The truth is, there are many ways to break the no-contact rule, and no matter what you do, you will likely see some results. But before we move forward, let’s first talk about why this rule exists at all.
Why the No Contact Rule Female Psychology Exists
In most cases, the no-contact rule is a reaction to abuse or mistreatment. If someone hurts you badly enough, you may decide to cut them off completely. In these situations, the goal is usually to get over the pain and move on with your life as soon as possible.
But in other cases, a woman could break up with her boyfriend or husband because he was just too much. He was controlling, manipulative, or simply too much drama. She wants to stop seeing him altogether so she doesn’t have to deal with any of his crap anymore.
In either case, the no-contact rule comes into play. You don’t need to cut your ex completely out of your life — but you do need to limit interactions.
Why Does Cutting Off Your Ex Make Sense?
There’s a lot of science behind the no-contact rule. A study published by the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that people tend to do better when they’re not around their former partners.
Another study published in Psychological Science showed that people report feeling less anxious when they’re not talking to their ex. So, while it’s true that breaking up with someone makes you feel good, it might not be long until you start missing them again.
And when you miss someone, you begin to reevaluate your own feelings about them. In fact, even though your ex is no longer in your life, you might find yourself thinking about them every day. And when you think about them, you’ll realize that your thoughts aren’t nearly as negative as you thought they’d be.
This is where the no-contact rule comes in. By cutting off all contact, you prevent your mind from dwelling on those thoughts. Instead of thinking about your ex constantly, you focus only on yourself. When you’re done with the no-contact period, you’ll be able to focus on new relationships.
5 Stages of No Contact Rule Female Psychology
Before we look at exactly how the no-contact rule affects your dating life, we should first discuss what happens during the process of breaking up. There are five different phases that happen during the entire process, and each one plays a role in helping you transition away from your ex.
- Denial
The denial phase is the first step toward healing. It begins right after you’ve broken up and continues as long as you can. During this time, you deny the reality of the relationship. You continue to believe that things were fine between you and your ex.
- Anger
Once you accept the breakup, you enter the anger stage. Here, you’re angry at your ex for hurting you. You might even hate them. But at least for now, you still maintain a connection to them.
- Bargaining
During this stage, you try to change your ex’s behavior. Maybe you want them to apologize, maybe you want them to tell you that they love you, maybe you want them to pay for all of your lost belongings. Anything seems like a possibility.
- Depression
At this point, you feel sad and hopeless. You feel like a complete failure because your efforts weren’t enough to save the relationship. Or perhaps you feel guilty because you know that part of the problem was your ex. Either way, you’re miserable.
- Acceptance
Finally, acceptance kicks in. At this point, you’ve accepted your ex for who they are. They’re not perfect, but at least you don’t find them as repulsive anymore. Now, you’re ready to move on.
How No Contact Works With Dating
After you reach the final stage of acceptance, you’re free to date again. As long as you follow the no-contact rule, you should be okay. In theory, that means you can start dating anyone without fear of getting hurt again.
But you can’t just jump back into a relationship without knowing anything about the person. You’d be asking for trouble.
So, how does the no-contact rule affect your dating life? Well, it depends on the situation. If you’ve only recently broken up with someone, then it’s going to be harder. After all, you probably still care deeply about them.
If you’ve been dating someone for a while and you’ve finally had enough, however, you might be able to skip the no-contact period. By following the no-contact rule, you’re telling your ex that you really don’t want to talk anymore. That means it shouldn’t be hard to stop communicating with them.
But once you do go back online, you’ll have to be careful. Even though you want to avoid your ex, you don’t want to risk getting hurt again. So, you’ll have to make sure that everything goes smoothly.
For example, if you’re trying to meet up with your ex, you’ll probably want to set expectations early on. Tell them that you won’t be contacting them unless they initiate it. Don’t forget to give them plenty of space.
You’ll be glad you took this approach when you realize that you’ve met someone else. Because you wouldn’t want to waste precious time with a guy who doesn’t appreciate you.
It’s important to remember that the no-contact rule isn’t the end-all, be-all solution to ending a relationship. It’s a tool that you can use to help you heal faster. But if you truly want to end something, you should take the time to figure out what went wrong and fix whatever issues you have.
